Seriously, how is it March? it is another Friday and that means another time for Five Minute Friday. Join in with a wonderful group of writers who gather at Five Minute Friday with Kate Motaung to write for an unedited five minutes on a one-word prompt. We’d love for you to join us! Today’s prompt is: Regret
Go…
I doubt one can really go through life without regret. There are simply decisions and actions that most of us on this planet are going to look back on and think “If only.”
I’ve been there. As a former single mom, I could write a book on my mistakes and mishaps. Many would say that simply being a single mom in the first place was a mistake (trust me on this I literally was told this). Do I regret it? Do I regret the lifestyle and actions that led me down this road?
The actions…yes.
The results…not for a single second.
Most of the time I regret that my son did not have the opportunities that other boys had. And by opportunities I simply mean a stable father in his life. I look at my friends who have had the support of a husband or even an active father. The impact on the children is so much better for the most part. We lacked that. It is hard not to point fingers at yourself over that.
Still, our struggle brought lots of gifts and lessons to my son and myself.
We learned to live beneath our means and we saw God at work all the time through generosity of others from our landlord who rented us a two-bedroom apartment in an old Victorian in a safe neighborhood for a fraction of what he could have gotten to the high school class who adopted my son and myself for Christmas one year which provided him with presents (we didn’t even know how it happened, we never signed up for this).
Mind you, our life was not like a Hallmark movie. More like a Lifetime movie. There were lots of hard times there. Many of those times were caused by my relationship choices. Those I regret. You cannot not regret a relationship with someone who was abusive. But you also cannot live there. Regret cannot change the past. It cannot remove the memories.
Regret is sometimes a necessary place. It is an impetus for growth and for change. There is challenge there to do something different, but there is also a danger in settling in too long. Living in the regrets of the past can be toxic, the memories that linger can hurt you and threaten to stunt you if you stay too long. Regret has to be put in its place. You look back, you find your lesson, you repent, and you move on.
“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:13-14 New American Standard Bible
STOP
I love your post, Kate. Beautifully written truths. “Regret is sometimes a necessary place. It is an impetus for growth and for change”. For a time regret was necessary, it drove me towards grace, living regret-less. I relate to your life in so many ways, I am single parent, have raised a son, and have also experienced abuse. I am so grateful for God’s redemptive grace.
Thank you Joan. I am so grateful for our amazing Heavenly Father who truly does make beauty from ashes. So glad you stopped by. Thanks so much!
Thank you for your writing on “Regrets”…so honest and truthful. I am so thankful to The Lord Who took care of you and your son…The Lord bless you…Gloria Phifer.
Thank you so much Gloria. I am so glad that we had His protection. Thank you for visiting today.
THIS: “Regret is sometimes a necessary place. It is an impetus for growth and for change. There is challenge there to do something different, but there is also a danger in settling in too long. Living in the regrets of the past can be toxic, the memories that linger can hurt you and threaten to stunt you if you stay too long. Regret has to be put in its place. You look back, you find your lesson, you repent, and you move on.”
Thank you Tara. I love your heart and appreciate you.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It was inspirational.
Thank you so much Karen. I went to your blog and read about your burn. So glad it did not get infected. I wrote a comment but it kept giving me an https error.
I hope you got it.
Oh Kelly, as much as your story was a hard one, it is also a beautiful one and I (along with others I’m sure) will love hearing your story. Thank you so much for sharing. Blessings from your FMF neighbour.
Lynne, you are so kind. Thank you for visiting. I was really afraid of it being an incredible downer, but you know how it is. No edits. 🙂
Thanks again for visiting neighbor!
Kelly, the stories that need telling are always the hard ones to press publish, and it definitely wasn’t a downer! I want to really encourage you now to keep on stepping out and telling your beautiful story.
Thank you so much Lynne. That means so much to me. Thank you for your encouragement!
So true, regret can’t change the past. I like your perspective of seeing it as an impetus for growth and change. Thanks for sharing part of your story. It’s always encouraging where we can look back and see God at work even in the midst of certain things we may have regretted along the way.
I am so grateful to the Lord and for how he redeems our regrets. Thanks for coming by Lesley!